If Naruto were Orochimaru
by IceWolf21
Summary: Humorous story about what would happen if Naruto and Oro switched brains! Ahhhh! One of my personal favorites.
1. Chapter 1

"Finally, it is done! My greatest creation has been completed." Kabuto opened the white door. "My greatest creation….the BURRITO! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!" "Kabuto, are you playing mad scientist again with your lunch?" Orochimaru came into the room. "Noooo…" Kabuto stuttered. "We all know that there is only one genius in this team." Orochimaru suddenly turned on a spotlight. Sasuke rose under the light. "MY greatest creation." Sasuke lifted a white cloth off of a large figure.

A mechanical pod stood underneath. "This is the Transporter-inator-inator. It transports you to any area you choose." Sasuke said proudly. "Then why does it say 'Property of Shino Aburame'" Kabuto pointed out. "That's just……not the point. Lord Orochimaru, you can test it first by going to the Leaf Village." Sasuke said, pushing Oro inside. Sasuke pushed a large, red button. Oro screamed (like a girl) and a large _boom!_ was heard. Oro stumbled out of the machine.

"Sasuke look at what you've done! You killed Oro-sama!" Kabuto shrieked, bending down. "What…what's going on? Sakura is that you?"The voice of Naruto was heard. "Lord Orochimaru, are you O.K?" Kabuto was heard just above. "Who are you talking to, I'm not Orochi…."looking up Naruto saw the face of Orochimaru. "OMG, I'm Orochimaru! Ahhhhh!" Naruto/Oro screamed. "Look what you've done Sasuke, you've caused our master brain damage. Nice going!" Kabuto complained. Naruto (as Oro) stood up. "I, Orochimaru, command you to…." Naruto started. "What would a gender-confused maniac say?" Naruto thought. "Lord Orochimaru, why are you mumbling to yourself" Sasuke asked. "Sasuke!" Naruto lifted Sasuke off of the ground, squeezing him tightly. Kabuto fumed and Sasuke blushed. "Or..Orochimaru…what are you doing?" "Sorry." Naruto put him down and rubbed the back of his head. "Man, I must have done **something** to set off some brain damage." Sasuke thought. "I'm going to…go to…go to bed. Good-night!" Naruto snuck off. "What's up with Lord Orochimaru?" Kabuto whispered to Sasuke. "I don't know. Shino must've messed up something in his machine" Sasuke said."Aha! I knew it! You didn't make that machine after all." Kabuto boasted.


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh my gosh, what a weird dream. Sasuke pushed me into this strange invention and I was teleported to the Leaf Village." The voice of Orochimaru was heard as he stood up and walked to what he thought was his bathroom. "Ahhhhhh! My beautiful face! What has happened to my gorgeous face! I'm….I'm so ugly! I mean look at these ridiculous whiskers and pointy blonde hair. I look like the biggest dork on the planet, Naruto!" Orochimaru looked into the mirror to find the face of Naruto.

_Knock, knock! _"Naruto are you awake! Lady Tsunade wants to speak to us!" Sakura was heard right outside the door. "Um…I'm coming. Just let me get changed." Oro yelled back. Panicked, Oro grabbed Naruto's regular orange outfit and bolted out the door. "Naruto, it's about time you got out here. Lady Tsunade is going to be really mad if we don't get out there quickly." Sakura nagged as the two started down the stairs. "Yeah, yeah, I think that hag of a leader can wait. I mean, you'd be thinking an old lady like her would have a lot of patience. Especially if she had to deal with you all day." Oro covered his mouth at the un-Naruto things he said. Sakura grabbed him at the collar and threw him down the rest of the stairs and out the door. "That _hag_ you were speaking of happens to be your leader and my mentor!" Sakura screeched. Oro struggled up, but only to be stopped as Sakura stepped on top of him. Oro stood up and followed after Sakura. "Heh-heh! Foolish, ugly girl, I will destroy you all when I get out of this repulsive body." Oro said. "Naruto, what did you just say?" Sakura asked confusedly. "Um..nothing at all. Um…believe it!" Oro said sheepishly.

**At Tsunade's office**

"Lady Tsunade, I've retrieved Naruto as you requested." Sakura said entering with Oro. "Ah, Tsunade, we meet again. This time I shall destroy you once and for all. Bow down to my superior might!" Oro said, standing on Tsunade's desk. "What the hey are you talking about, Naruto. Wait a minute; I know what's going on." Tsunade said, standing up. "You do?" Oro asked, getting down. "Yes, I know clearly what you are trying to do. You're trying to impress Sakura!" Tsunade laughed. "What! Impress that witch?! I'll pass. I'd rather eat my crap then date her." Oro said. He was brutally pummeled.


	3. Chapter 3

**Back at Oro's Hideout...**

"Man this sucks, this is supposed to be the day Orochimaru trains Sasuke. Hmm, I might be able to take this to my own advantage." Naruto thought (in Oro's body) as he examined a calendar in Oro's bedroom.

"Orochimaru-sama, hurry up outside already!" Sasuke called. Naruto rushed outside to find Sasuke waiting impatiently.

"Ahem, to begin your training we will…um…have you…stretch out your vocal cords!" Naruto stuttered.

"What," Sasuke asked in a ticked off voice, "I don't need to stretch out my vocal cords! I just want you to make me stronger, not prepare me for a choir concert."

"Here, I already wrote down an awesome pledge you say. Announce it really loud and say it word for word." Naruto handed Sasuke to piece of notebook paper.

"I Sasuke am a dork. I could never match up to the might of Naruto Uzamaki. The only way I'd match up with his incredible strength would be if I were reborn into something more mighty than the form I'm forced to live in, like a fly. Lord Orochimaru, what the heck is this!" Sasuke burst as he read the note.

"It is true and crucial to your training. Now on to the next phase." Naruto gestured a confused Sasuke to the middle of the arena.

"Sasuke I am finally going to teach you a technique that will defeat all of your enemies. Using this battle suit, you will never be defeated. Combined with this awesome move, the battle suit will go to its full extent!" Naruto pulled the suit from behind his back. I was…A BALLERINA SUIT!

"Now go inside and change." Naruto ordered, shoving the tutu at Sasuke. Before Sasuke could say anything, he was putting on the pink tutu and purple top. When he came out, Kabuto was there.

"Hello Miss, can I direct you to the nearest ladies' room." Kabuto laughed at the feminine sight.

"You're laughing now Kabuto, but I will become the most fearsome warrior in all the land." Sasuke pronounced as stood on his tiptoes and gracefully danced over.

"Now Sasuke, we will begin your training." Naruto said, recovering from a laughing fit. "Now first step is the Twirling Flower Jutsu." Naruto directed.

"Finally, something with a reasonable name.' Sasuke muttered.

"All you have to do are these hand signs and then twirl around." Naruto instructed with following hand signs.

The first one looked like a demented butterfly that lost its left wing. The second one showed what looked like a constipated kitten climbing up a tree. The last one was of a flower blooming and ended with the sign of a rainbow. Sasuke stared at Naruto for a minute, surprised at his master's hand signs. Then he got over it when he realized that Oro is one of the most girlish men he had ever met. Sasuke did the hand signs and twirl like a ballerina trying to hit the dummies. He missed and ended up nauseous. Naruto pushed them all down, so it seemed like he did hit them.

"See Sasuke, you hit every target. It's all thanks to the battle suit. Don't ever not were it when in battle, it's very crucial to doing the Twirling Flower." Naruto snickered. "Though I think that's enough training for one day, I'm going to bed." Naruto laughed as he headed off to bed.

"Oro-sama has been going to bed really early lately. It's only 6:30." Kabuto pointed out.

"Orochimaru can do whatever he pleases as long as he keeps training me like this!" Sasuke said, smoothing out his skirt.

"As long as you don't do Swan Lake, I'll be fine." Kabuto laughed as he walked off.

"Oh no he didn't!" Sasuke said, snapping his fingers in a Z-formation.

**Note: I will most likely be killed by any Sasuke fan-girls out there if they read this. It was worth it though! (Laughs!) ^_^**


	4. Chapter 4

I own nothing….surprising isn't it?

Naruto (Orochimaru) stood up from being knocked down by a furious Sakura. He rubbed the large purple bump on his head and approached Tsunade's desk.

"Listen Tsunade, I'm a busy man and I need a mission to my…I mean Orochimaru's lair." Oro said, narrowing his eyes at Tsunade.

"Naruto, don't get so close. Your breath smells like rotten milk and failure," Tsunade pushed his face away, "I want the two of you to travel to Orochimaru's lair and spy on him. For some odd reason I will not be sending a jonin with you, like Kakashi or something, because the author seems to think you too can handle it. Plus, being as this the last chapter, IceWolf seems to want you two to go at it alone." Tsunade said.

"Wait a minute, are you saying this is the last chapter? No!! I'm never in anyone's story! If this ends and there is some other new body-switching story with not me, everyone will forget about me." Oro fell to his knees and started to bawl.

"Come on Naruto, you don't have it that bad. The creator hates me and will probably never put me another one of her stories again." Sakura said, helping up Oro. (_Me: It's true.) _

**At Oro's lair two days later**

"It's about time we got here. It usually only takes us at a day and a half. I told you we shouldn't have stopped at McDonald's." Sakura complained as they arrived.

"They had SpongeBob toys; he's like the best character, other than me, on the planet. I mean, he's square…square!" Oro giggled while playing with his plushie SpongeBob.

"Sakura, Naruto, surprised to see me?" a voice said from behind a bush.

"Um not really, we can't even see you." Oro complained and Sakura nodded.

"Fine I'll come out. People just don't seem to have any sense of…oh my God! It's a bee! Get it away, get it away! It might mess up my battle suit, no!" Sasuke came from out of the bushes screaming and swatting at a bee while dressed in a ballerina costume.

Kabuto and Orochimaru (Naruto) came out from inside the tall building and grabbed Sasuke, scaring away the "monster" attacking him.

"Sasuke, why are you dressed in a ballerina costume?" Sakura asked, totally confused.

"Sasuke-kun! How is my favorite student? Have you been brushing your teeth? I hope you've been wearing your footie pajamas to avoid the creepy-crawlers of the night from stealing your right pinky-toe like what happened in that dream you had last week." Oro cooed.

"N-Naruto, how did you know all of that?" Sasuke asked, turning red.

"That's right; I still am not in my gorgeous body that I adore. Hey you, in the wonderful body. The one that looks like the awesome Orochimaru. Get out of my body, believe it! Wait a minute; did I just say 'believe it'? Hurry up before I become a total geek with no life" Oro snapped at Naruto, realizing what was happening to him.

"Sasuke, I think you might have switched Naruto and Lord Orochimaru's bodies, hurry and fix it." Kabuto whispered.

"Orochimaru and…Orochimaru, come with me." Sasuke directed while Sakura turned around and headed back to Konoha while twitching her eye off.

Sasuke directed to the same pod from before, only with a second pod attached.

"I attached this one after 'Orochimaru' tried to get me to do the Twirling Flower Jutsu. I will not stoop to that level." Kabuto patted the new pod.

"Twirling Flower Jutsu?" Oro asked.

"Yeah it's this awesome new jutsu other Orochimaru taught me. All I need to do it is the correct hand signs and this manly battle suit." Sasuke said, straightening his white skirt.

"We'll talk about this later." Oro said stepping inside the main pod.

Naruto stepped inside the new pod and Sasuke pulled the switch. Both babies screamed and a large lightening-like noise. Both pods opened at both ignoramuses stumbled out.

"What just happened?" Naruto stood up to find himself in his own body. Orochimaru was the same.

"Oh my beautiful face, did you miss me?!" Oro rubbed his face and checked for whiskers.

"So, what should we do now?" Naruto asked.

"How about we get some Taco Bell or something?" Kabuto suggested.

"Sure, that'll be great," Oro said and they started toward Taco Bell, "Believe it, now I can't stop saying it!"

"Orochimaru, stop trying to steal my catch phrase!" a whack was heard and Oro screamed like a girl as they for some reason headed towards the sunset.

"Why is the sunset there? Is IceWolf trying to make a heroic ending or something" Kabuto asked.

"You know what, that sun seems to be getting closer and closer by the second. It's almost like…I can touch it," Naruto reached toward the sunset, "Owwwww, my hand. Stupid animated sun! Curse you IceWolf!!" Naruto screamed. (_Me: That's for Pein-sama!_)

**NOTE: This is indeed my last chapter of ****If Naruto were Orochimaru ****series. Please leave comments on what you thought of the story and if you want me to make another one like this. I would be happy to if a lot of people wanted it. If you have any ideas or advice for the next one, just say it in your comments. Thanks for reading! ******


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